The Jor Gazette

Inprinted

2010-07-28T02:53:00.000-07:00

you told me you love me
you claimed that you care,
you said you wouldnt break
my heart even if dared,

but somehow and someway
im here on the floor,
and your parting is
branded by the slam of a door,

you told me we had,
yes we had it made,
we would built memories
together the rest of our
days,

but somehow and someway
im lost and im hurt,
im crying, im miserable,
so sober so burnt,

you told me you were true
you claim it was you
the guy who would scare away
my pains, depression and
blues

but somehow and someway the
tears make it down my face
and i feel cheated,defeated,
and so out of place

you told me i love you
i told you this too
i told you i always be honest and true
i told you i be here in your ups and downs
i told you i be here wether smiles, tears or frown

but i guess what i
told you meant nothing at all
it was just more weight
added to my unavoidable fall

And i wish that right now i didnt have
to leave
didnt have to leave my heart along with
the keys

but you have decided,
you made it your will,
to make a void in my life
not easily filled,

so what is it now just pack
my bags and go,
keep my head high and try to
move on?

but things arent that simple
not that black and white,
cause something about me
leaving just doesnt feel right,

you told me to go on its
better this way,
but how can i make it without you
even one day?

just know that what i told you
will always be true
i always remember and
i will forever love you...

Unknown

2008-10-12T01:40:00.000-07:00

I don’t remember how or recall quite when,

I don’t remember what I was doing much less how I was dressed,

I don’t remember how it began or how I ever knew,

I do remember how it felt but not how that feeling grew,

I don’t remember anything, anything at all,

I don’t remember how or where I plunge into my fall,

i do know its you who cause this feeling from above,

I do know its you who made me fall deeply in love,

So I don’t care about the whats, the whens the whys the hows,

All that I care about is what I’m feeling now,

So lets the question float around until they finally dissolve,

Not every question needs an answer not every

Mystery needs to be solved.

Unanswered

2008-09-24T07:18:00.000-07:00

How long had I been compelled by darkness?

How much hate consumed my heart?

How long did I endure suffering?

How much of me did I tear apart?

How long couldn’t I stand myself?

How much abuse did I take?

How long didn’t I love myself?

How many mistakes did I make?

How did you find me?

When I try and never could.

What did you see in me?

When In me I see no good.

Why should I believe you?

How do I know it’s not lies?

What makes you so different from

Every other guy?

You keep promising your love,

Promise you never leave,

But how can I trust you when

I’ve been constantly deceived,

You say you want my heart but that’s

Something that I lack

How can I give you something,

I never quite got back?

How long must I suffer?

How much must I cry?

How long will I go on aching

Unable to live my life?

My Path

2008-09-20T01:48:00.000-07:00

I live in a world that says that I’m free,
But I’m free to be anyone, anyone but me,
Accused of going down a path that to them seems so wrong,
Making me feel out of place like I don’t belong,
I live in a world daily experiencing hate,
Condemn for a lifetime to a discriminatory fate,
Never heard out always prejudged,
Fueling my sadness at the same time my grudge,
I live in a world but with quite no life,
Never happy, constantly ignoring my strife,
Never content, much less in peace,
And this anger inside me finds no release,
I live in a world if I could say live,
When there’s seems to be nothing to exist for
Much less to believe.

Splendor of Life

2008-09-19T15:09:00.005-07:00

I Sit here by the window and stare out into
A splendor that many don’t perceive,
The way the trees sway back and forth
Slowly dancing to the rhythm of the wind,
Or possibly the radiant glow of that summer morning sun
That energizes everything it touches,
The stunning and harmonic sounds of the merry birds
That is always a delight to wake to,
I sit here by the window a bit different today,
For I have realize that beauty exist in everything
If I had just been more in touch with my senses,
Just in the way rain falls showering everything with life,
In the way the clouds drift insensibly towards no particular goal,
Or the flowers that lay beautifully like motionless butterflies atop trees,
And all I lament is being blinded for so long and taking for granted
The magnificence and bliss
Life itself in all its forms is able to bring.

Slave to Routine

2008-09-19T15:09:00.004-07:00

I feel as though I drown in a sea of sorrow filled memories,

That I lack air every time I can’t decipher on why things happen the way they did,

I can’t seem to escape from the four walls that surround me and it seems futile

To make an attempt to find an escape and

Take new steps when I always end up confuse and disoriented,

I feel that my heart is scarred with pain and failure,

And can’t no longer be relieve much less put be whole again,

I stay indifferent at the warmth of the afternoon and the invasive cold of the night

Because happiness and sorrow tend to always have the same effect on me

The same consequences make the same difference,

I feel I have made a lot of mistakes and

That I will always make them but I know that despite what I feel

My heart will keep beating with the hope that someday I will find everlasting happiness.